A Confident Transformation

Dear Students:
Whenever students inquire about the mind/body connection and how it relates to Feldenkrais, I try to explain it in the simplest way.  Every emotional response and behavior is expressed as a movement pattern within each of us. Each individual uniquely organizes themselves in a different way of being.

What I went through recently, is a good example of what I wish to convey.  I have been getting ready for three years, to stand up for my rights before an authority figure.  All of my life, I have cowered to people in such positions. This time, I decided to face each challenge thrown at me from a man or woman in power, and as a result, I have gone through a major self-image change.  First I had to be able to imagine embarking on this endeavor before I could actually carry it out.

I did not want to have to stand before a “man in a black robe”, so I went through every course of action I could think of, to prevent such an occasion from occurring.  Each time, I came to a dead end.  Through all the avenues I took, I gained confidence in myself until the actual time came to stand my ground.

This transformation from being a victim to being one in power, blossomed due to the Feldenkrais method and to a strong and steady support system of comrades and teachers.  Without these factors I would not have been able to change so quickly.

Right before I was to present my case before a mediator, I began to doubt my abilities.  I created havoc within myself as fear of the approaching moment overwhelmed me.  I woke up, less than a week before I was going to make my stance, with shooting pain running down my right leg so badly that I could not put weight upon it or straighten up.  The pain was so great that it literally took by breath away.

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Immediately, I started doing Feldenkrais lessons multiple times a day to ease the tension in my muscles thus created from my emotional state of mind.  And because I understood that wavering got me into this condition, I began surrounding myself with people that believed in me.  My family & friends enveloped me with love and built my confidence up so as the day approached my pain lessened.

On the day of presenting, I stood on both legs without pain, for 25 minutes and fought for what was righteous and just.  In the end, the man before me did not uphold my rights and I believe it was because he could not change his self-image in such a short period of time without a needed support system.

I picture that during his career, he got into the habit of ruling, and got used to people bowing before him.  And then I came along and convened the lawful side of the court and asked him to change his hat to that of a public servant. Through my words and actions I required him to honor me as a lawful woman, and asked to let “we the people” make a decision instead of him.

I watched him try to take on this role that was probably never requested of him during his entire time behind the bench. Unfortunately his anger over took him and won out as he dismissed my case.  I gain solace in knowing that on some level he is processing and integrating the lesson I offered him.  Maybe he will use that information for the better of our society.

I feel my victory was not only an internal belief in myself but an external belief that I opened the door to the lawful side of the court for many to walk through in the days to come.  And I shone a light on a man and his legal staff, and revealed that their true responsibilities are to hold up moral laws and not allow harm to be done to any member of mankind. 

I, will continue to walk this path until “We the People’s” voices are heard! May each of our steps land with more and more confidence along the way.
~Donna

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